In the ongoing culture wars, it helps if you put things in perspective. Civility is a very well established social standard that goes back a few centuries. It’s not exactly biblical, but it’s good enough (provides tactical advantage) and remains a part of American heritage.
When someone confronts you with something preposterous, as SJWs (Social Justice Warriors, AKA Political Correctness activists) often do, just laugh them off. If they persist in being assholes about it, blow them off as having made themselves odious and insignificant. You aren’t being rude; they just don’t matter. The sooner we establish that, the better things will be for everyone.
They don’t matter because there is no debate with them. They are at war with the rest of the human race, and it is utterly impossible to placate them. Ever. Do you see how Chick-fil-a is being destroyed? They alienated their paying customer base and attempted to placate the SJWs by changing how the company does charitable giving. And what do the SJWs say? It’s not enough! And it won’t matter what Chick-fil-a does until they go under; the SJWs will never be happy with the results. This is not a civil discussion by any definition.
So you have to get it through your head that this is not a debate, but an out and out campaign of utter destruction. The SJWs are a living instrument of scorched earth. Do what you believe is tactically in your best interest, but don’t ever consider in your mind even the merest possibility of getting them to back off. They will back off when they are dead, and not before.
That doesn’t mean you have to slaughter them, but don’t expect any relief until that happens. They will not change individually expect by divine miracle. Meanwhile, the cult itself isn’t going anywhere, regardless how small and isolated they become.
Civility says stop caring what idiots think. Get it clear in your mind what qualifies as idiocy, and don’t equivocate. On the other hand, unless you are ready to start killing them, don’t get involved, either. Just go about your mission and try to avoid them to the degree possible. If at all feasible, construct a system that excludes them in the first place, or raise the shields on an existing system. Get it through your head that these people are not a valid contender for anything that matters. They aren’t part of your market and you will never change their minds.
Here are some basic rules of civility:
- Know your mission in life. Be firmly committed and solid as bedrock.
- Have a clear idea of what morality means. Don’t let anyone redefine it for you; follow your own convictions. This matters more than anything else. Without this foundation, there’s no point in living.
- Don’t debate the core ideas, negotiate only with the details of implementation. Know the difference.
- Treat people as well-meaning equals until they prove otherwise. Don’t be arbitrary or arrogant.
- Accept competition from people who hold similar moral assumptions. Don’t treat them as enemies.
- Some people warrant zero consideration. Let them identify themselves; they will.
- Once identified, don’t engage them verbally except to demand they stay the hell out of the way. Make it very expensive for them if they don’t. Be harsh and extreme early; relent when they learn.
- Show no mercy to real enemies. Use any and every weapon you have. Be very intelligent about the enemy’s weak points. Learn to ignore false threats.
- Never supplicate to any human. If you do not hold a position of strength, try to stay the hell away from the situation. If you have strength, never hesitate to use it. Learn to recognize when guerilla warfare is the only option left, and make it unbearable.
- Recognize that battle has its own etiquette once the battle has begun. Battle rules are not the same as rules of peaceful coexistence, but they both follow a consistent thread of moral sensibility. Don’t let the enemy decide the rules of engagement.
- Stop fighting when the enemy is no longer in your way. Remain battle ready for when they try it again.
- Real enemies will not stop until they are dead.