Human Nature and Sexual Attraction
Modern society typically gets the most important elements of human life backwards.
We call it “perversion” when some force throttles the message of truth and twists it out of shape. I take my truth from the Bible specifically, and ancient Hebrew culture generally. So far as I can determine, little else can offer a more thorough and accurate prediction of how humans generally act. Sometimes you have to read between the lines, but that’s fundamental to Hebrew literature. It’s there, whether you notice it or not.
Often enough, within any given civilization or cultural context, you’ll find echoes of that truth. All truth is God’s truth. We can debate endlessly about whether something only appears to work, but that in itself may be a reflection of your bias. Mine is clearly stated, and I believe I’m pretty consistent. I find modern American culture deeply perverted and there’s no hope of fixing what’s wrong. Somewhere between the ideal situation revealed by God and where we are today, we can always find a better answer. If you understood the assumptions behind the various social requirements in Ancient Hebrew societies, you would understand how things need to be done today.
That includes human sexual attraction. Fundamental to human nature is men as peacocks. They put on their best show, strutting their stuff, and win the interest of the hens. It’s up to the hens to decide, but they must act. The idea a man must pursue the woman as the prize to be won is almost entirely a product of European culture. To be specific, it arises mostly from the Germanic tribal mythology. It’s wrong.
In our modern society, the man who walks with God stands alone and has no other need. His calling and mission are all he needs. He trusts in His Lord to bring all necessary support and resources. He acts with total devotion, his eyes on the mission. In this he will be as close to the manly ideal as he can ever be. He is frankly better off alone, but that’s just a basic premise. Most of the time, God finds the man needs supporting cast and crew. It is God who prompts and leads a godly woman to desire a part in that mission.
Yes, there are variations in how this works out in details, but given where we are today, the above description is as close as we get to what’s in the Bible. Women don’t have to be brazen and direct, but it’s not wrong if they are. In more popular terminology, the man has to work on his Game. Not in the sense of obsession with attracting a mate, unlike the peacocks, but simply as the result of obeying his calling. If that doesn’t work, he needs to pay attention to his mission until God provides. A needy man is a failure. So is a needy woman, but in a different sense. She has to be mature enough and confident in her God and obey His prompting. It’s not as if He doesn’t care and won’t give you a clue.
A woman who chooses a strong service role, or leadership role, must either be an accomplished woman in her own home first, of regard herself as called to have no home, as it were. There is absolutely nothing wrong with choosing to avoid the whole issue of marriage, but not if you are simply putting it off until it’s more convenient. Need I state the obvious? God regards all sex as de facto marriage in one sense. There is absolutely no place for losing virginity, for either sex, outside the intent to obey the Lord and keep it in the marriage bed. Notice the issue is intent to obey.
But ladies, in broad general terms, you have to make the move. The Bible assumes you’ll have help from family and friends, but we seldom do that right these days. Don’t wait for your man to chase you down. He’s supposed to be too busy for such things. When the Lord makes it clear you’ve got a live one, work within the context of your personality and life context to make that connection.
Any other approach is pure mythology, a reflection of social perversion and an insult to God’s revelation.
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