Tom Ball’s suicide is being analyzed in a hundred ways.
I’m not going to join the herd. Even after reading his long and disjointed letter, I’m not sure I understand why he chose that end. What bothers me most is all the various analyses that attempt to steal the spotlight for their own ends. Perhaps the most useful, and at the same time the most disgusting, comment comes from the likes of Vox Day and The Dread Ilk.
On the one hand, Vox does correctly assess the man comes across as a Gamma in the Socio-Sexual Hierarchy. That is, he is a whiny victim to the end. On the other hand, it almost seems the whole thing is reduced to how to get more nooky. Am I supposed to aspire to Alpha, a borderline psychopath? The fundamental truth about the Alpha male is the vast majority of them don’t care about anyone but themselves. A real Alpha never would have gotten into Ball’s situation in the first place. I don’t think there’s anything particularly noble about that, even by Western standards. I really could care less where I fall on the Hierarchy, because I am committed to walking the footsteps of Jesus Christ, and this requires ignoring the Hierarchy and chasing tail.
What we do learn from Tom Ball is a wealth of uncovering a system we all knew was perverted in the first place. Ball manages to detail how the system works for those who want to know. And it’s really easy to see how feminism has taken control of the legal system in the US. How Ball chose to handle things is his problem, but his hope of making himself out to be a victim will only succeed with other men who already wish to make themselves out to be victims. This is not a Tunisian fruit vendor moment, and it won’t start a revolution.
The only godly question to ask in all this is: What will you do next? That is, given what you see, and what you can learn from Ball’s research, how will you act when something like this happens to you? Naturally, it only applies if you have a family with kids, or are likely to be involved in some sort of family situation in the future. Granted, the Word of God says the state has no business in family matters, so long as they are strictly family matters. The biblical culture, the one God designed, would encourage the man’s extended family to take care of the issue. A world where people live apart from their extended family is a broken world, so we can’t really fix things. Nor can we even pretend we aspire to God’s blessings so much as they are available, if we aren’t actively working to put ourselves into such a setting. Right now, that means if your blood kin aren’t available, a genuine covenant community will do even better. The first answer is to find or start building a faith community which answers the biblical standards — which excludes the vast majority of American churches.
While you are working on that, let’s say you somehow drew the attention of the state for it’s evil invasion of your home life. You’ll have to evaluate your own context. The single most significant question: Is your wife on your side, or will she do what the state demands? If the latter, bail out. You cannot win, if after what you’ve been through together, she can’t be trusted to back you against the state. Sure, she can play whatever games are necessary to placate them while she waits an opportunity for something better, but if she’s so fearful she’ll obey the state, you are out of luck. The thing can’t be fixed. Much as it hurts, you’ve already lost your kids. Make other plans.
Or, if you just can’t handle it, you can always take Tom Ball’s path. Nobody can choose for you.
If you aren’t there yet, make sure whomever you marry is a lot stronger than Mrs. Ball. That will, of course, eliminate some 90% of the females in the US. Don’t be stupid; choose the future Missus on the basis of something you can live with after you both get old and ugly, which comes really much quicker than you think. Or think of it this way: If she’s worth loving, she’ll be worth loving after some horrible accident ruins her looks, too. Nothing replaces loyalty in a wife. Put yourself in a situation where she’s likely to show that loyalty as a way of attracting your interest. If all your attention is on whether she looks hot, then don’t pretend marriage matters much.
The second thing is cultivating the loyalty of your kids. Make yourself the rock of refuge against a nasty world very early in their lives. Don’t allow the world around you to shape their values directly, even as you make them aware of how messed up things are. Demonstrate it first, then tell them. If they don’t admire you, it’s a lost cause.
Always have a plan to escape the jurisdiction. Cultivate like-minded supporters who will help you escape. Talk about the dangers of the child welfare system with those who pretend they are your friends and sound them out. Start with relatively mild comments, unless your personality and the context permits boldness. Me? I’m the bold and brash type. I know how to play head games, but mostly it’s a matter of civility. Most people aren’t ready or able to be my friend. Not many people know what would trigger my flight from the state, nor are they likely to know much of the how. The fewer who can offer intelligent guesses to those pursuing me, the better.
Violent resistance may be little different from setting yourself on fire. It’s justified in God’s eyes, but for the sake of those you defend, don’t start something for which you don’t see an end point, as it were. In today’s climate, every hint of violence eliminates an awful lot of future options. Then again, once the state has decided to act, it won’t make that much difference. Weigh it in your mind before anything happens; think and pray about every incident which hits the news. Not the lies the MSM will spew, nor statements by lawyers and such, but add to your estimates what you learn about how the state acts.
For example, here in Central Oklahoma, the child welfare system is notoriously lazy. They are more likely to focus on the cases which are easy, than the ones which require actual work. Most of the social workers are incredibly stupid, with an evaluation system only a bureaucrat could love. I’ve dealt with them one time in the past. The deck was stacked against the system, as my family was definitely on my side. The judge was not militant, and the social worker actually thought we were okay, so I played the penitent. I had strong community support. We won. While the social workers are generally less intelligent these days, the system here hasn’t changed all that much. Also, it’s badly underfunded and very much overloaded, thank God. However, for some target populations, it’s still a nightmare. You have to decide how likely you are to be mangled or simply inconvenienced.
Do not ever dismiss the whole question, as if it will never happen to you. This is one of those rising threats, and even here in a relatively good system, things could go nuclear in a heartbeat. Now that my kids are adults, I worry about my grandchildren. Not in the sense of fear, but I steel my heart for what I estimate is probable. It’s one of a wide range of issues by which I calculate staying here versus moving. Right now, this is one of the best places in the US, when tested against all the things I think about and what I’m ready to face.
If you don’t think about it, you might as well keep a can of gas handy.